1
00:00:01,167 --> 00:00:05,067
[mid-tempo electronic
music with vocalization]

2
00:00:40,233 --> 00:00:41,433
All right?

3
00:00:41,433 --> 00:00:42,367
Yeah.

4
00:00:42,367 --> 00:00:43,433
Take this, Pusface.

5
00:00:43,433 --> 00:00:45,167
Yes, Lord Pissface.

6
00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:49,167
-Just drag it along here.
-Oi!

7
00:00:49,167 --> 00:00:49,967
Ow.

8
00:00:51,433 --> 00:00:52,233
Hi.

9
00:00:53,500 --> 00:00:55,500
God, worst job ever.

10
00:00:55,500 --> 00:00:56,900
Won't be that bad.

11
00:00:56,900 --> 00:00:57,967
How is clearing out the loft

12
00:00:57,967 --> 00:00:59,433
with Dad not that bad?

13
00:00:59,433 --> 00:01:01,467
You're right, it
will be that bad.

14
00:01:01,467 --> 00:01:03,067
Hello?

15
00:01:03,067 --> 00:01:05,067
[Jackie] I'm
upstairs, one minute.

16
00:01:05,067 --> 00:01:07,200
You know I'd love to help, but.

17
00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:08,067
Yeah.

18
00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:12,600
Adam?

19
00:01:12,600 --> 00:01:13,433
What?

20
00:01:13,433 --> 00:01:14,467
Can you uh?

21
00:01:14,467 --> 00:01:15,633
Agh!

22
00:01:15,633 --> 00:01:17,100
I got you.

23
00:01:17,100 --> 00:01:18,067
You bastard.

24
00:01:18,067 --> 00:01:18,900
How?

25
00:01:18,900 --> 00:01:20,167
You didn't really think

26
00:01:20,167 --> 00:01:20,800
I'd dislocated my
shoulder, did you?

27
00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:21,633
What?

28
00:01:21,633 --> 00:01:22,567
Well why did?

29
00:01:22,567 --> 00:01:23,800
There's no way they'll let me

30
00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:24,933
do the loft with this
thing on, will they?

31
00:01:24,933 --> 00:01:26,133
Right, very good.

32
00:01:26,133 --> 00:01:27,067
Very clever.

33
00:01:27,067 --> 00:01:28,267
[Jackie] Coming.

34
00:01:28,267 --> 00:01:30,267
Okay, and putting
it back on and--

35
00:01:30,267 --> 00:01:32,167
Well obviously
I'll just tell Mum.

36
00:01:32,167 --> 00:01:34,567
Fine and I'll just tell
her all the grotty details

37
00:01:34,567 --> 00:01:36,533
about what you got up
to with Hayley Posner.

38
00:01:36,533 --> 00:01:37,433
Hayley?

39
00:01:37,433 --> 00:01:38,667
You bloody dare.

40
00:01:38,667 --> 00:01:39,567
Hi, what are-

41
00:01:40,967 --> 00:01:41,800
Oh my god.

42
00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:42,600
What happened?

43
00:01:45,733 --> 00:01:48,733
Jonny dislocated his shoulder.

44
00:01:48,733 --> 00:01:49,567
[mid-tempo music]

45
00:01:49,567 --> 00:01:50,700
You should have told me.

46
00:01:50,700 --> 00:01:52,667
Oh, it was just a little fall.

47
00:01:52,667 --> 00:01:53,933
I didn't want to worry you.

48
00:01:53,933 --> 00:01:55,800
Ah, you are too
thoughtful, Jonny.

49
00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:56,900
Mwah.

50
00:01:56,900 --> 00:01:57,900
Isn't he.

51
00:01:57,900 --> 00:01:59,367
[coughs] Hayley Posner.

52
00:01:59,367 --> 00:02:00,267
Where's your stupid dad?

53
00:02:00,267 --> 00:02:01,467
Martin!

54
00:02:01,467 --> 00:02:03,800
Probably still in
that rancid old loft.

55
00:02:03,800 --> 00:02:05,800
I'm really sorry Adam,
but I think you might

56
00:02:05,800 --> 00:02:07,067
have to do it
without me tonight.

57
00:02:07,067 --> 00:02:09,067
Well course he's doing
it without you tonight.

58
00:02:09,067 --> 00:02:09,933
Of course.

59
00:02:09,933 --> 00:02:11,567
Oh, all right my darling,

60
00:02:11,567 --> 00:02:14,133
I'll get you a nice cup of tea.

61
00:02:14,133 --> 00:02:15,733
I want to speak to you.

62
00:02:15,733 --> 00:02:16,733
Hi Dad.

63
00:02:16,733 --> 00:02:18,067
Hello bambinos.

64
00:02:18,067 --> 00:02:19,500
There you are.

65
00:02:19,500 --> 00:02:21,133
Mm, I thought you weren't
talking to me at the moment.

66
00:02:21,133 --> 00:02:22,067
I'm not.

67
00:02:22,067 --> 00:02:23,467
Have you seen your youngest son?

68
00:02:25,200 --> 00:02:26,067
Oh, Jonny.

69
00:02:26,067 --> 00:02:27,333
I know, Dad.

70
00:02:27,333 --> 00:02:29,067
Why are you wearing
your bleeding suit?

71
00:02:29,067 --> 00:02:30,300
What?

72
00:02:30,300 --> 00:02:31,100
You'll ruin it up
there, you moron.

73
00:02:31,100 --> 00:02:32,300
Amazing.

74
00:02:32,300 --> 00:02:33,600
Martin, Jonny's
not going anywhere.

75
00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:34,967
Can't you see he's injured?

76
00:02:36,900 --> 00:02:38,200
Oh, I thought it was a scarf.

77
00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:39,067
A scarf?

78
00:02:39,067 --> 00:02:39,867
A scarf?

79
00:02:39,867 --> 00:02:40,833
You know, fashion.

80
00:02:40,833 --> 00:02:43,267
[phone ringing]

81
00:02:43,267 --> 00:02:44,400
Oh, it's Val.

82
00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:46,167
Hi, love.

83
00:02:46,167 --> 00:02:47,333
So it's just you and me then.

84
00:02:47,333 --> 00:02:48,933
Yeah, just you and Pusface.

85
00:02:48,933 --> 00:02:50,433
It's quite nasty up in the loft.

86
00:02:50,433 --> 00:02:51,567
Oh dear, is it?

87
00:02:51,567 --> 00:02:52,533
Horrible.

88
00:02:52,533 --> 00:02:54,533
What's that on your chest?

89
00:02:54,533 --> 00:02:55,367
Pigeon shit.

90
00:02:55,367 --> 00:02:56,200
A bird got in.

91
00:02:56,200 --> 00:02:57,167
Great.

92
00:02:57,167 --> 00:02:58,400
Aah.

93
00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:01,233
Um, Dad, can you
excuse us just one sec.

94
00:03:01,233 --> 00:03:02,067
Right.

95
00:03:02,067 --> 00:03:03,300
What, get off.

96
00:03:03,300 --> 00:03:05,067
-What you doing, you div?
-Get in.

97
00:03:05,067 --> 00:03:05,867
What?

98
00:03:07,233 --> 00:03:08,400
Okay, you are not to say

99
00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:09,867
a bloody word about
Hayley Posner.

100
00:03:09,867 --> 00:03:11,800
So long as you don't say a
bloody word about my shoulder.

101
00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:13,933
Jonny, Hayley Posner
is Aunty Val's niece.

102
00:03:13,933 --> 00:03:15,533
Who you took on a date, shagged,

103
00:03:15,533 --> 00:03:16,733
and then never called back,

104
00:03:16,733 --> 00:03:18,733
just because you thought
she smelt like mum.

105
00:03:18,733 --> 00:03:20,900
Number one, I never
shagged Hayley Posner.

106
00:03:20,900 --> 00:03:24,067
Number two, she
did smell like Mum.

107
00:03:24,067 --> 00:03:25,067
Whatever.

108
00:03:25,067 --> 00:03:25,933
It wasn't even her perfume.

109
00:03:25,933 --> 00:03:26,900
It was her natural smell.

110
00:03:26,900 --> 00:03:27,833
I really don't want to know.

111
00:03:27,833 --> 00:03:29,067
It was like being in bed with--

112
00:03:29,067 --> 00:03:29,900
Mum?

113
00:03:29,900 --> 00:03:31,400
Urgh.

114
00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:34,133
What are you two berks
doing, playing in the toilet?

115
00:03:34,133 --> 00:03:35,400
Adam was trying
to kiss me again.

116
00:03:35,400 --> 00:03:36,633
Pair of prannies.

117
00:03:38,067 --> 00:03:39,833
Now listen, er, I might
as well let you know

118
00:03:39,833 --> 00:03:41,067
but your mother and haven't

119
00:03:41,067 --> 00:03:42,800
been getting on
very well recently.

120
00:03:42,800 --> 00:03:44,267
Great, that's not depressing.

121
00:03:44,267 --> 00:03:45,133
We had a row.

122
00:03:45,133 --> 00:03:45,967
About what?

123
00:03:47,067 --> 00:03:48,067
Personal stuff.

124
00:03:48,067 --> 00:03:49,100
What sort of personal stuff?

125
00:03:49,100 --> 00:03:50,067
Sexual stuff.

126
00:03:50,067 --> 00:03:51,400
-Oh Dad.
-Dad.

127
00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:53,067
We didn't want you to
actually answer that question.

128
00:03:53,067 --> 00:03:53,900
God.

129
00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:55,200
Sorry.

130
00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:56,733
No, your mother's really
not happy at the moment.

131
00:03:56,733 --> 00:03:58,067
Right.

132
00:03:58,067 --> 00:03:59,200
Last night she threw
some plums at me.

133
00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:00,100
Plums?

134
00:04:00,100 --> 00:04:01,600
Yes, plums.

135
00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:02,467
And a lemon.

136
00:04:05,100 --> 00:04:07,700
Sexual stuff, so?

137
00:04:07,700 --> 00:04:09,467
They never have sex?

138
00:04:09,467 --> 00:04:10,800
They always have sex?

139
00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:12,400
They have sex in cupboards?

140
00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:13,900
In skips?

141
00:04:13,900 --> 00:04:15,400
With tramps?

142
00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:20,133
Yeah, I know Val, but it's
like he's obsessed with her.

143
00:04:21,300 --> 00:04:22,933
How can I compete
with that woman?

144
00:04:24,433 --> 00:04:25,600
What's Dad been doing?

145
00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:27,133
Uh, who's Dad been doing?

146
00:04:27,133 --> 00:04:28,067
I don't think I wanna know.

147
00:04:28,067 --> 00:04:29,567
I know I don't wanna know.

148
00:04:29,567 --> 00:04:30,400
Let's not know.

149
00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:31,267
Let's not know.

150
00:04:31,267 --> 00:04:33,433
[mid-tempo music]

151
00:04:33,433 --> 00:04:35,833
Good boy, drink your tea.

152
00:04:37,067 --> 00:04:38,833
Your biscuit, Sir Piss.

153
00:04:38,833 --> 00:04:40,700
Ah, here, darling.

154
00:04:40,700 --> 00:04:41,533
Thanks, Mum.

155
00:04:44,233 --> 00:04:46,867
[sniffs] Oh, you smell
nice tonight, Mum.

156
00:04:46,867 --> 00:04:47,800
Do I?

157
00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:49,300
Yeah, you smell really lovely.

158
00:04:49,300 --> 00:04:52,133
Oh, thank you, darling,
what a nice thing to say.

159
00:04:52,133 --> 00:04:53,133
Mwah.

160
00:04:53,133 --> 00:04:53,967
Adam, smell Mum.

161
00:04:53,967 --> 00:04:55,700
Oh, don't be silly.

162
00:04:55,700 --> 00:04:56,800
Go on, smell her.

163
00:04:56,800 --> 00:04:57,633
I'm okay, thanks.

164
00:04:57,633 --> 00:04:58,500
How's the shoulder?

165
00:04:58,500 --> 00:04:59,633
Fine.

166
00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:01,600
Fine, as in it's
perfectly all right, or?

167
00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:03,900
Oh, by the way,
Val's coming tonight.

168
00:05:03,900 --> 00:05:04,767
Really?

169
00:05:04,767 --> 00:05:06,067
Aunty Val?

170
00:05:06,067 --> 00:05:09,100
Yeah. I really needed
a friend here tonight.

171
00:05:10,133 --> 00:05:11,400
Oh, okay.

172
00:05:11,400 --> 00:05:14,067
Well, it'll be lovely to
see her, won't it, Adam?

173
00:05:14,067 --> 00:05:15,767
Oh, she'll want
to know all about

174
00:05:15,767 --> 00:05:17,267
how you got on with Hayley.

175
00:05:17,267 --> 00:05:18,300
Really?

176
00:05:18,300 --> 00:05:19,533
Hayley?

177
00:05:19,533 --> 00:05:21,800
Wait, isn't that
Aunty Val's niece?

178
00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:22,633
That's right.

179
00:05:22,633 --> 00:05:23,867
Jonny.

180
00:05:23,867 --> 00:05:25,167
You were nice to her,
weren't you, Bobble?

181
00:05:25,167 --> 00:05:27,067
Of course I was nice to her.

182
00:05:27,067 --> 00:05:28,233
Get us some more
biscuits, would you?

183
00:05:28,233 --> 00:05:29,133
Er, shit off.

184
00:05:29,133 --> 00:05:30,233
Adam.

185
00:05:30,233 --> 00:05:31,400
Adam, loft.

186
00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:32,567
Lovely to see you too.

187
00:05:32,567 --> 00:05:33,667
Martin, we're
having dinner soon.

188
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:34,833
Go away.

189
00:05:34,833 --> 00:05:36,100
So does this mean you're
talking to me now?

190
00:05:36,100 --> 00:05:37,333
And can you please
not come near us

191
00:05:37,333 --> 00:05:39,400
with your filthy chest hair.

192
00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:40,633
Agh, it's fine.

193
00:05:40,633 --> 00:05:41,933
Martin, there are
things living in it.

194
00:05:41,933 --> 00:05:43,200
Just go and have a wash.

195
00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:44,633
But I had a wash yesterday.

196
00:05:48,167 --> 00:05:51,500
Your father, he's
really upset me.

197
00:05:51,500 --> 00:05:52,433
Has he?

198
00:05:52,433 --> 00:05:54,067
Oh dear.

199
00:05:55,167 --> 00:05:57,133
You know, sometimes
he just needs

200
00:05:57,133 --> 00:06:00,567
to remember that I'm a woman.

201
00:06:00,567 --> 00:06:01,667
Okay, more biscuits?

202
00:06:01,667 --> 00:06:02,500
Thanks.

203
00:06:02,500 --> 00:06:03,667
Sure.

204
00:06:03,667 --> 00:06:05,900
[mumbling]

205
00:06:09,367 --> 00:06:12,300
Er, should you be
doing that there?

206
00:06:12,300 --> 00:06:13,400
What?

207
00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:15,500
That, over the potatoes.

208
00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:16,333
It's fine.

209
00:06:16,333 --> 00:06:17,467
It's medieval.

210
00:06:19,700 --> 00:06:21,200
You're worse than your mother.

211
00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:24,200
[Jackie] Adam, put the
crumble in the oven, will you?

212
00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:25,067
Okay.

213
00:06:25,067 --> 00:06:26,267
God.

214
00:06:26,267 --> 00:06:28,600
Bloody hot tap.

215
00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:30,233
Done it.

216
00:06:30,233 --> 00:06:31,500
Ow!

217
00:06:31,500 --> 00:06:34,700
Burnt my shitting nipple!

218
00:06:34,700 --> 00:06:37,533
[mid-tempo music]

219
00:06:39,067 --> 00:06:40,700
[Adam] You definitely
didn't mention this.

220
00:06:40,700 --> 00:06:41,633
Didn't I?

221
00:06:41,633 --> 00:06:43,300
You definitely didn't.

222
00:06:43,300 --> 00:06:45,100
You said you wanted us to
help you clear out the loft.

223
00:06:45,100 --> 00:06:46,600
This is the loft.

224
00:06:46,600 --> 00:06:50,233
This is the loft, yes, but
this is the water tank.

225
00:06:50,233 --> 00:06:52,500
Oh, well I meant clean
out the water tank then.

226
00:06:52,500 --> 00:06:54,400
Well I know that now, don't I?

227
00:06:56,167 --> 00:06:57,633
What's all this stuff in it?

228
00:06:57,633 --> 00:07:00,367
Oh, just general filth.

229
00:07:00,367 --> 00:07:01,833
Don't worry, you'll
have your dinner first.

230
00:07:01,833 --> 00:07:02,900
Oh, I get fed, do I?

231
00:07:02,900 --> 00:07:04,100
And we'll drain out the water.

232
00:07:04,100 --> 00:07:04,933
That's good to know.

233
00:07:04,933 --> 00:07:06,067
I won't drown.

234
00:07:06,067 --> 00:07:06,867
[Martin laughing]

235
00:07:06,867 --> 00:07:09,400
Dad!

236
00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:10,633
Why couldn't you
get a man to do it?

237
00:07:10,633 --> 00:07:11,567
You're a man.

238
00:07:11,567 --> 00:07:13,133
No I'm not, not a proper man.

239
00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:14,167
He's not a proper man.

240
00:07:14,167 --> 00:07:15,467
Oh, please piss off.

241
00:07:15,467 --> 00:07:17,200
Yes, piss off Jonny.

242
00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:19,567
Your mother sees you up here
she'll only throw another fit.

243
00:07:19,567 --> 00:07:20,400
Or plums.

244
00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:21,433
Yeah, or plums.

245
00:07:21,433 --> 00:07:23,400
Well, have fun.

246
00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:24,400
Oh, and one other thing.

247
00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:25,667
What?

248
00:07:25,667 --> 00:07:26,867
Best not do it in
all those clothes.

249
00:07:26,867 --> 00:07:28,433
No, course not, I'll
do it in my underpants.

250
00:07:28,433 --> 00:07:29,767
Yes, that's what I normally do.

251
00:07:29,767 --> 00:07:31,300
Coming back up for this.

252
00:07:31,300 --> 00:07:32,600
Sorry, you want me to get

253
00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:34,433
into the water tank
in my underpants?

254
00:07:34,433 --> 00:07:36,733
It's all right, I'll
be in there too.

255
00:07:36,733 --> 00:07:38,333
Me and you in our pants?

256
00:07:38,333 --> 00:07:40,700
Mm, father and son nudity.

257
00:07:40,700 --> 00:07:43,467
[Jackie] Boys, Aunty Val's here.

258
00:07:43,467 --> 00:07:44,600
Aunty Val's here.

259
00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:46,500
Oh, bloody Val.

260
00:07:48,267 --> 00:07:49,200
You better not tell
her anything about--

261
00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:50,667
You sleeping with Mum?

262
00:07:50,667 --> 00:07:52,867
No doubt your mother's
been yabbering on to Val

263
00:07:52,867 --> 00:07:54,067
all about our problem.

264
00:07:54,067 --> 00:07:55,300
What is your problem?

265
00:07:55,300 --> 00:07:56,500
Oh no, don't ask that.

266
00:07:56,500 --> 00:07:58,200
I told you, sexual.

267
00:07:58,200 --> 00:07:59,433
-Agh.
-Adam.

268
00:07:59,433 --> 00:08:01,133
Sorry, I really didn't
think he'd say it again.

269
00:08:01,133 --> 00:08:03,967
[mid-tempo music]

270
00:08:10,067 --> 00:08:12,233
[coughing]

271
00:08:13,333 --> 00:08:14,167
Excuse me.

272
00:08:15,133 --> 00:08:16,433
Jackie, can I say something?

273
00:08:16,433 --> 00:08:17,567
What, love?

274
00:08:17,567 --> 00:08:19,400
This really is a
lovely bit of squirrel.

275
00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:21,067
[laughing]

276
00:08:21,067 --> 00:08:22,200
Yes, one of the best bits

277
00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:24,933
of squirrel I've
ever eaten. [laughs]

278
00:08:26,700 --> 00:08:27,967
Thank you, Martin.

279
00:08:27,967 --> 00:08:29,667
Can you go and check
the crumble, please?

280
00:08:29,667 --> 00:08:31,067
Check it for what, lice?

281
00:08:31,067 --> 00:08:32,767
Just go and look at the crumble.

282
00:08:36,433 --> 00:08:38,300
Very funny Val, lovely
bit of squirrel.

283
00:08:38,300 --> 00:08:41,800
[Jackie and Val laughing]

284
00:08:43,500 --> 00:08:44,900
[Martin] Where's the
bloody oven glove?

285
00:08:44,900 --> 00:08:48,333
Oh, just look, impossible.

286
00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:57,533
Aunty Val?

287
00:08:57,533 --> 00:08:58,767
What?

288
00:08:58,767 --> 00:09:00,200
What's going on
with Mum and Dad?

289
00:09:01,700 --> 00:09:02,500
I can't tell you
that, it's too--

290
00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:03,467
[All] Personal.

291
00:09:03,467 --> 00:09:05,067
Yeah, we know.

292
00:09:06,100 --> 00:09:07,433
Boys, I can't.

293
00:09:07,433 --> 00:09:10,067
Right, is it another woman?

294
00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:13,267
I'm really not allowed.

295
00:09:13,267 --> 00:09:15,167
Oh, love the way you done
the potatoes, Jackie.

296
00:09:15,167 --> 00:09:16,567
Oh, thanks, love.

297
00:09:16,567 --> 00:09:17,667
Very fluffy.

298
00:09:17,667 --> 00:09:18,500
The crumble smells funny.

299
00:09:18,500 --> 00:09:20,433
It doesn't smell funny.

300
00:09:20,433 --> 00:09:21,267
Is it off?

301
00:09:21,267 --> 00:09:22,767
Oh, just sit down.

302
00:09:28,833 --> 00:09:32,233
Adam and I are going
into the loft later, Val.

303
00:09:32,233 --> 00:09:33,067
Really?

304
00:09:33,067 --> 00:09:33,900
Oh yes.

305
00:09:33,900 --> 00:09:34,733
Aren't we, Adam?

306
00:09:34,733 --> 00:09:35,633
Yes, Dad.

307
00:09:35,633 --> 00:09:37,133
In their pants.

308
00:09:37,133 --> 00:09:40,100
Val, you'll never guess what
I found up there earlier.

309
00:09:40,100 --> 00:09:41,767
Martin, Valerie really
doesn't wanna know that.

310
00:09:41,767 --> 00:09:42,600
Yes she does.

311
00:09:42,600 --> 00:09:44,067
What was it?

312
00:09:44,067 --> 00:09:44,967
Half a rat.

313
00:09:44,967 --> 00:09:46,100
Oh.

314
00:09:46,100 --> 00:09:47,367
Dad.

315
00:09:47,367 --> 00:09:48,167
Oh, well thanks for
telling me, Martin.

316
00:09:48,167 --> 00:09:49,467
Quite badly decomposed.

317
00:09:49,467 --> 00:09:51,233
Martin, Val's eating.

318
00:09:51,233 --> 00:09:53,700
All right, she's
not eating a rat.

319
00:09:53,700 --> 00:09:55,067
Okay, why don't you eat down

320
00:09:55,067 --> 00:09:56,367
the end of the table then, hm?

321
00:09:56,367 --> 00:09:57,200
Go on.

322
00:09:57,200 --> 00:09:58,067
What?

323
00:09:58,067 --> 00:09:59,100
Yes, go on.

324
00:10:01,033 --> 00:10:02,467
Go to the end of the table.

325
00:10:04,233 --> 00:10:05,133
Eat on your own.

326
00:10:08,167 --> 00:10:09,000
Happy now?

327
00:10:15,300 --> 00:10:16,500
Didn't actually have a head.

328
00:10:16,500 --> 00:10:19,100
Oh, sorry Val.

329
00:10:19,100 --> 00:10:20,300
Oh, it's okay, love.

330
00:10:22,700 --> 00:10:25,667
So Adam, you gonna make
me wait all night then?

331
00:10:25,667 --> 00:10:26,867
For what?

332
00:10:26,867 --> 00:10:29,200
What happened with
you and Hayley, silly?

333
00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:30,300
Oh, Hayley.

334
00:10:30,300 --> 00:10:32,767
Oh, Hayley.

335
00:10:32,767 --> 00:10:36,167
Well I, you know, went
on a date with her.

336
00:10:36,167 --> 00:10:37,000
Yeah, she knows that.

337
00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:37,967
I know that.

338
00:10:37,967 --> 00:10:38,767
She knows that.

339
00:10:39,900 --> 00:10:41,433
What else do you want me to say?

340
00:10:41,433 --> 00:10:44,967
Well her mother said that
Hayley really liked you.

341
00:10:44,967 --> 00:10:45,900
Ooh!

342
00:10:45,900 --> 00:10:47,267
Girl liked Adam?

343
00:10:47,267 --> 00:10:48,933
What is she, a blind alcoholic?

344
00:10:48,933 --> 00:10:51,367
But apparently, you
never called her back.

345
00:10:51,367 --> 00:10:52,500
Didn't you?

346
00:10:52,500 --> 00:10:53,900
Why didn't you call Hayley back?

347
00:10:53,900 --> 00:10:56,633
Yes, why didn't you
call Hayley Posner back?

348
00:10:56,633 --> 00:10:58,067
Well, I--

349
00:10:58,067 --> 00:10:58,967
Tell us, was there
something wrong with her?

350
00:10:58,967 --> 00:11:00,333
Shut up!

351
00:11:00,333 --> 00:11:02,567
I just, you know.

352
00:11:02,567 --> 00:11:05,700
Let me guess, she had
an annoying laugh?

353
00:11:05,700 --> 00:11:06,667
Her hands were too big?

354
00:11:06,667 --> 00:11:08,733
She smelt funny?

355
00:11:08,733 --> 00:11:09,700
[Val] Smelt funny?

356
00:11:09,700 --> 00:11:10,967
Did she smell funny?

357
00:11:10,967 --> 00:11:13,567
No, course she
didn't smell funny.

358
00:11:13,567 --> 00:11:15,067
That crumble smells funny.

359
00:11:15,067 --> 00:11:16,600
It does not smell funny.

360
00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:17,433
[doorbell ringing]

361
00:11:17,433 --> 00:11:18,267
I'll get it.

362
00:11:18,267 --> 00:11:19,233
No, sit down, I'll go.

363
00:11:20,533 --> 00:11:21,367
Close.

364
00:11:23,633 --> 00:11:25,067
Hello Jackie, I really--

365
00:11:25,067 --> 00:11:26,200
Oh hi, Jim.

366
00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:27,367
Wow, you look--

367
00:11:27,367 --> 00:11:28,900
Yes, can I come in?

368
00:11:28,900 --> 00:11:30,400
It's, it's a bit
of an emergency.

369
00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:31,400
Really?

370
00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:32,700
Um.

371
00:11:35,367 --> 00:11:36,200
Okay.

372
00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:37,067
Thank you.

373
00:11:37,067 --> 00:11:38,167
Wilson, you stay.

374
00:11:43,333 --> 00:11:44,500
Everything all right?

375
00:11:44,500 --> 00:11:45,800
Everything?

376
00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:47,300
Why are you dressed so, er,

377
00:11:47,300 --> 00:11:49,833
I mean you look like a
real gentleman tonight.

378
00:11:49,833 --> 00:11:52,200
Ooh, thank you
Jackie, and so do you.

379
00:11:53,767 --> 00:11:55,467
Are, are the others here?

380
00:11:55,467 --> 00:11:57,300
Maybe they can help too.

381
00:11:58,267 --> 00:11:59,367
Um.

382
00:12:02,500 --> 00:12:03,567
Okay, come through.

383
00:12:03,567 --> 00:12:04,400
Yes.

384
00:12:06,167 --> 00:12:08,533
Jim's here, it's
er, an emergency.

385
00:12:08,533 --> 00:12:10,367
Yes, it's a real emerge-

386
00:12:15,300 --> 00:12:16,433
Twins?

387
00:12:16,433 --> 00:12:18,067
What?

388
00:12:18,067 --> 00:12:19,400
Tw, twins?

389
00:12:20,500 --> 00:12:21,600
Oh, no, we're not.

390
00:12:21,600 --> 00:12:24,667
We're not related. [laughs]

391
00:12:24,667 --> 00:12:28,333
No, Jim, this is
Val, my best friend.

392
00:12:28,333 --> 00:12:29,167
Val.

393
00:12:30,733 --> 00:12:32,600
What's the emergency?

394
00:12:32,600 --> 00:12:36,400
Oh yes, has anyone
got a phone charger?

395
00:12:37,900 --> 00:12:38,833
That's the emergency?

396
00:12:38,833 --> 00:12:40,233
You need a phone charger?

397
00:12:40,233 --> 00:12:42,767
Yes, well, my mobile
phone has run out

398
00:12:42,767 --> 00:12:44,500
and I need to make
a telephone call.

399
00:12:44,500 --> 00:12:47,933
See, Wilson did something
terrible with, with my charger.

400
00:12:47,933 --> 00:12:49,500
Just terrible.

401
00:12:49,500 --> 00:12:50,967
And you need to do it now?

402
00:12:50,967 --> 00:12:53,067
Yes, I have only got the number
in my telephone, you see,

403
00:12:53,067 --> 00:12:54,567
and it's, it's for tonight.

404
00:12:54,567 --> 00:12:56,100
I'm having a date.

405
00:12:56,100 --> 00:12:56,933
A date?

406
00:12:56,933 --> 00:12:58,067
Yes, with a lady.

407
00:12:58,067 --> 00:12:59,333
Ooh, how exciting.

408
00:12:59,333 --> 00:13:03,067
Yes, where, where did
you meet this lady?

409
00:13:03,067 --> 00:13:05,067
In a yellowish room.

410
00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:08,900
I'll just go and find a charger.

411
00:13:08,900 --> 00:13:10,600
Yes, go and sniff it out.

412
00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:11,567
Thank you.

413
00:13:11,567 --> 00:13:13,100
Ow!

414
00:13:13,100 --> 00:13:14,067
What kind of phone is it?

415
00:13:14,067 --> 00:13:15,167
A portable one.

416
00:13:16,900 --> 00:13:18,100
Right.

417
00:13:18,100 --> 00:13:19,600
Wearing a bib?

418
00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:21,867
No, she was meant to coming
round tonight for dinner,

419
00:13:21,867 --> 00:13:23,267
but she hasn't turned up.

420
00:13:23,267 --> 00:13:24,867
How strange.

421
00:13:24,867 --> 00:13:27,733
Yes, it is strange, so I,
I really must call her.

422
00:13:28,900 --> 00:13:30,600
You've made her
dinner, have you?

423
00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:31,400
Oh, yes.

424
00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:32,233
Oh, how romantic.

425
00:13:32,233 --> 00:13:33,600
What are you having?

426
00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:34,800
Sheep.

427
00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:36,500
Here, this one fits.

428
00:13:36,500 --> 00:13:37,733
Thank you, Jonny.

429
00:13:37,733 --> 00:13:39,167
Adam.

430
00:13:39,167 --> 00:13:40,733
Thanks all, better be off.

431
00:13:40,733 --> 00:13:41,633
Oh, Wilson.

432
00:13:44,467 --> 00:13:46,267
Oh he, he's gone up the stairs.

433
00:13:47,167 --> 00:13:48,400
Wilson, come down, Wilson.

434
00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:49,567
Where's he gone?

435
00:13:49,567 --> 00:13:50,900
Upstairs.

436
00:13:50,900 --> 00:13:52,167
Upstairs?

437
00:13:52,167 --> 00:13:54,067
[Jim] He's going into the loft.

438
00:13:54,067 --> 00:13:55,333
He's going in the loft?

439
00:13:55,333 --> 00:13:56,433
The loft? [laughs]

440
00:13:56,433 --> 00:13:58,067
[Jim] Don't worry, I'll get him.

441
00:13:58,067 --> 00:14:02,067
Feel free to give that tank
a good scrub, Jim. [laughs]

442
00:14:02,067 --> 00:14:03,500
Why don't you go and
help him up there

443
00:14:03,500 --> 00:14:06,600
instead of just
stuffing your fat face?

444
00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:07,767
I thought you were ignoring me.

445
00:14:07,767 --> 00:14:09,133
What?

446
00:14:09,133 --> 00:14:11,667
[sighs] Oh, just pass
the ketchup, would you?

447
00:14:11,667 --> 00:14:13,400
I'm sorry, did
someone say something?

448
00:14:13,400 --> 00:14:15,300
I didn't hear anything.

449
00:14:15,300 --> 00:14:16,900
Val, could you pass
me the ketchup?

450
00:14:16,900 --> 00:14:17,733
Don't help him, Val.

451
00:14:17,733 --> 00:14:18,833
Don't worry, Jackie.

452
00:14:19,733 --> 00:14:20,867
Boys, could you?

453
00:14:20,867 --> 00:14:22,067
-Here you go, Dad.
-Leave it.

454
00:14:23,333 --> 00:14:24,600
Right.

455
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:31,067
Thank you.

456
00:14:37,433 --> 00:14:38,433
Mm mm mm mm.

457
00:14:40,067 --> 00:14:41,533
Mm.

458
00:14:41,533 --> 00:14:42,367
Mm mm, ah.

459
00:14:45,167 --> 00:14:46,433
[Jim] Wilson.

460
00:14:46,433 --> 00:14:47,500
Ooh!

461
00:14:47,500 --> 00:14:51,533
Oh Wilson, you're a bad Wilson.

462
00:14:55,167 --> 00:14:56,067
Wet.

463
00:15:00,133 --> 00:15:01,267
My god, Val.

464
00:15:01,267 --> 00:15:03,300
I am so sorry about him.

465
00:15:03,300 --> 00:15:04,767
Oh, don't worry, love.

466
00:15:04,767 --> 00:15:06,833
Yes, I'm sorry it's been like
this all evening, Valerie.

467
00:15:06,833 --> 00:15:08,067
You see, my wife's suffering

468
00:15:08,067 --> 00:15:10,067
from a condition known
as Mad Womanitis.

469
00:15:12,300 --> 00:15:14,233
Right, that's it, out

470
00:15:14,233 --> 00:15:15,433
What, for saying Mad Womanitis?

471
00:15:15,433 --> 00:15:16,933
Yes, you heard me, out.

472
00:15:16,933 --> 00:15:17,767
Mum.

473
00:15:17,767 --> 00:15:18,600
Shut up, Adam.

474
00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:19,433
It was only a joke.

475
00:15:19,433 --> 00:15:20,533
Mad Womanitis.

476
00:15:20,533 --> 00:15:21,767
A joke, was it?

477
00:15:21,767 --> 00:15:23,700
Okay, and was it
a joke that thing

478
00:15:23,700 --> 00:15:25,167
that happened the
other night, hm?

479
00:15:25,167 --> 00:15:26,233
What thing?

480
00:15:26,233 --> 00:15:28,200
But I didn't do anything,.

481
00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:30,633
Oh, Valerie, talk some sense
into her, for Chrissakes.

482
00:15:30,633 --> 00:15:32,967
I'm sorry Martin, but if
you don't mind my saying,

483
00:15:32,967 --> 00:15:35,100
I think what you did to Jackie
that night was disgusting.

484
00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:36,233
Thank you, love.

485
00:15:36,233 --> 00:15:37,067
Disgusting.

486
00:15:37,067 --> 00:15:38,400
Um, what's he done?

487
00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:39,333
Please tell us.

488
00:15:39,333 --> 00:15:41,367
But I didn't do anything.

489
00:15:41,367 --> 00:15:42,967
You know very well what you did.

490
00:15:42,967 --> 00:15:45,200
And don't you dare
tell those two boys

491
00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:46,500
a bloody thing, you hear me?

492
00:15:46,500 --> 00:15:47,400
Now get out.

493
00:15:53,467 --> 00:15:55,533
You can't just chuck
Dad out like that.

494
00:15:55,533 --> 00:15:56,800
Oh, can't I?

495
00:15:56,800 --> 00:15:59,500
Well if you're so happy
having a father who did

496
00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:01,900
what he did, why don't
you go with him then?

497
00:16:01,900 --> 00:16:03,167
What?

498
00:16:03,167 --> 00:16:04,500
Go on, both of you.

499
00:16:04,500 --> 00:16:05,300
Out.

500
00:16:07,700 --> 00:16:08,900
So where are we gonna go then?

501
00:16:08,900 --> 00:16:09,833
I don't know, the pub?

502
00:16:09,833 --> 00:16:10,767
What?

503
00:16:10,767 --> 00:16:11,700
Not the horrible, horrible pub.

504
00:16:11,700 --> 00:16:13,200
Yes, the horrible, horrible pub.

505
00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:14,100
Where we going?

506
00:16:14,100 --> 00:16:15,067
[Both] The pub.

507
00:16:15,067 --> 00:16:16,700
The punk?

508
00:16:16,700 --> 00:16:18,700
Yes, we're all
going to the punk.

509
00:16:18,700 --> 00:16:21,533
[mid-tempo music]

510
00:16:27,967 --> 00:16:29,200
Is this it?

511
00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:30,667
Oh yes.

512
00:16:30,667 --> 00:16:33,067
The friendliest
pub in the world.

513
00:16:42,633 --> 00:16:43,467
Evening.

514
00:16:43,467 --> 00:16:44,300
How are you?

515
00:16:44,300 --> 00:16:45,133
What?

516
00:16:45,133 --> 00:16:46,067
How's business?

517
00:16:46,067 --> 00:16:47,100
Business?

518
00:16:47,100 --> 00:16:48,200
Dad.

519
00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:50,100
How's your business doing?

520
00:16:50,100 --> 00:16:50,933
Shit.

521
00:16:52,100 --> 00:16:53,067
Oh.

522
00:16:53,067 --> 00:16:54,067
Can you just order?

523
00:16:54,067 --> 00:16:56,067
Um, yes, three drinks please.

524
00:16:56,900 --> 00:16:58,067
What three drinks?

525
00:16:58,067 --> 00:16:59,867
Um, what would you recommend?

526
00:16:59,867 --> 00:17:02,733
Well, we've got
beer, lager, spirits.

527
00:17:02,733 --> 00:17:04,067
Shall we get one of each then?

528
00:17:04,067 --> 00:17:06,100
Sorry, one moment please.

529
00:17:07,500 --> 00:17:08,633
Dad, when was the last
time you went into a pub?

530
00:17:08,633 --> 00:17:11,400
Um, 1997.

531
00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:12,867
To buy a drink?

532
00:17:12,867 --> 00:17:13,767
To use the loos.

533
00:17:16,067 --> 00:17:17,567
Three pints of lager, please.

534
00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:20,633
We're gonna get it
out of you eventually.

535
00:17:20,633 --> 00:17:22,100
I told you, I can't say.

536
00:17:22,100 --> 00:17:23,067
Mum will do her nut.

537
00:17:23,067 --> 00:17:24,100
But mum is a nut

538
00:17:25,100 --> 00:17:27,600
Come on, was it another woman?

539
00:17:27,600 --> 00:17:28,800
Oh Jonny, please.

540
00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:30,333
All right, another man?

541
00:17:30,333 --> 00:17:31,167
Two women?

542
00:17:31,167 --> 00:17:32,067
Two men?

543
00:17:32,067 --> 00:17:32,933
Two dogs?

544
00:17:35,167 --> 00:17:36,333
Er.

545
00:17:36,333 --> 00:17:37,167
Mum?

546
00:17:38,733 --> 00:17:39,867
Jackie, Jackie.

547
00:17:41,067 --> 00:17:42,133
What?

548
00:17:42,133 --> 00:17:43,833
What are you doing here?

549
00:17:43,833 --> 00:17:45,667
Well, you came to
the pub for a drink,

550
00:17:45,667 --> 00:17:47,200
so we came to the
pub for a drink.

551
00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:48,200
Or is that not allowed?

552
00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:49,467
But.

553
00:17:49,467 --> 00:17:51,467
Oh, come on Jackie,
what are you having?

554
00:17:53,833 --> 00:17:54,800
Oh dear.

555
00:17:54,800 --> 00:17:56,067
Bloody hell, I suppose

556
00:17:56,067 --> 00:17:57,067
I'd better go and
talk to the woman.

557
00:17:57,067 --> 00:17:57,833
Is that good idea?

558
00:17:57,833 --> 00:17:58,667
Probably not.

559
00:17:59,567 --> 00:18:00,467
[Man] Two gin and tonics.

560
00:18:00,467 --> 00:18:01,733
I'll get those.

561
00:18:01,733 --> 00:18:03,600
Um, can you leave
us alone, please.

562
00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:04,833
What?

563
00:18:04,833 --> 00:18:05,833
I'm having a drink
with my friend.

564
00:18:05,833 --> 00:18:06,667
That's right.

565
00:18:06,667 --> 00:18:07,700
Don't be so stupid.

566
00:18:07,700 --> 00:18:10,500
Oh, I'm being stupid, am I?

567
00:18:10,500 --> 00:18:12,933
Er, is this man
bothering you, ladies?

568
00:18:12,933 --> 00:18:14,567
Yes, actually.

569
00:18:14,567 --> 00:18:17,200
You heard the lady,
move away from the bar.

570
00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:18,067
Sorry?

571
00:18:18,067 --> 00:18:19,067
Go on then.

572
00:18:19,067 --> 00:18:20,533
What, I'm not listening to him.

573
00:18:20,533 --> 00:18:21,867
What did you say?

574
00:18:21,867 --> 00:18:22,800
Everything all right?

575
00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:23,533
I said, what did you just say?

576
00:18:24,733 --> 00:18:26,767
I said I'm not listening
to you, Thicko.

577
00:18:26,767 --> 00:18:27,600
What?

578
00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:28,533
He doesn't mean that.

579
00:18:28,533 --> 00:18:29,333
He calls everyone a thicko.

580
00:18:29,333 --> 00:18:30,167
It's all right, boys.

581
00:18:30,167 --> 00:18:31,400
No, it's not all right.

582
00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:34,067
Your father is getting
on my bloody nerves.

583
00:18:34,067 --> 00:18:35,067
Can you keep your voice down?

584
00:18:35,067 --> 00:18:36,667
Seriously, my bloody nerves.

585
00:18:36,667 --> 00:18:38,433
I said, can you keep
your voice down?

586
00:18:38,433 --> 00:18:39,333
Just shut up.

587
00:18:39,333 --> 00:18:40,567
She doesn't mean that.

588
00:18:40,567 --> 00:18:41,467
She tells everyone to shut up.

589
00:18:41,467 --> 00:18:43,200
Right, that's it.

590
00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:45,433
You and you, out.

591
00:18:45,433 --> 00:18:46,300
What?

592
00:18:46,300 --> 00:18:47,667
Come on, you're going.

593
00:18:47,667 --> 00:18:48,500
You're going.

594
00:18:48,500 --> 00:18:49,333
But it's his fault.

595
00:18:49,333 --> 00:18:50,167
Yes.

596
00:18:50,167 --> 00:18:51,067
Don't listen to them.

597
00:18:51,067 --> 00:18:51,833
But.

598
00:18:51,833 --> 00:18:52,767
[mid-tempo music]

599
00:18:52,767 --> 00:18:54,400
You're leaving.

600
00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:55,233
Out.

601
00:19:00,067 --> 00:19:01,567
So you're still not
talking to me then?

602
00:19:01,567 --> 00:19:02,700
No, I am not.

603
00:19:02,700 --> 00:19:04,200
But Jackie, I.

604
00:19:04,200 --> 00:19:06,233
Right you, the loft.

605
00:19:06,233 --> 00:19:07,333
Oh.

606
00:19:07,333 --> 00:19:08,267
Go on, Pusface.

607
00:19:08,267 --> 00:19:09,500
[Martin] Come on, Jackie.

608
00:19:09,500 --> 00:19:11,067
Okay, that's it, that
thing is coming off now.

609
00:19:11,067 --> 00:19:12,233
No way.

610
00:19:12,233 --> 00:19:13,500
Yes way, it's coming
off right this second.

611
00:19:13,500 --> 00:19:15,400
Get off, get.

612
00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:17,567
[moaning]

613
00:19:19,067 --> 00:19:19,900
What's the matter?

614
00:19:19,900 --> 00:19:21,067
What happened?

615
00:19:21,067 --> 00:19:25,200
I, I think I've
dislocated my shoulder.

616
00:19:26,067 --> 00:19:28,867
[mid-tempo music]

617
00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:33,467
Okay, so first we're gonna
need to give it an X-ray.

618
00:19:33,467 --> 00:19:34,433
Okay.

619
00:19:34,433 --> 00:19:35,600
And while we're at it,

620
00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:36,900
we'll take a quick
x-ray of the other one.

621
00:19:36,900 --> 00:19:38,100
Sorry, the other one?

622
00:19:38,100 --> 00:19:39,267
Yes, the other one.

623
00:19:39,267 --> 00:19:40,833
Good idea, Doctor.

624
00:19:40,833 --> 00:19:41,767
And then we can--

625
00:19:41,767 --> 00:19:43,733
Sorry, um, the other one, it's.

626
00:19:45,267 --> 00:19:48,867
You know what, it's really
feeling suddenly a lot better.

627
00:19:48,867 --> 00:19:49,767
Really?

628
00:19:49,767 --> 00:19:51,100
Really?

629
00:19:51,100 --> 00:19:52,567
It's a miracle.

630
00:19:52,567 --> 00:19:53,833
Yeah.

631
00:19:53,833 --> 00:19:55,533
Er, ah, I guess it
just clicked back

632
00:19:55,533 --> 00:19:57,300
into place or something.

633
00:19:57,300 --> 00:19:58,533
Ha.

634
00:19:58,533 --> 00:20:01,700
Nah, no, I think I'm
er, cured, Doctor.

635
00:20:01,700 --> 00:20:02,867
Yeah, really, thanks.

636
00:20:02,867 --> 00:20:03,767
Thank you.

637
00:20:03,767 --> 00:20:04,600
[pager beeping]

638
00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:05,433
Oh, not now.

639
00:20:05,433 --> 00:20:06,300
One moment, please.

640
00:20:08,033 --> 00:20:09,267
Great, isn't it?

641
00:20:09,267 --> 00:20:10,767
Okay, what's going on?

642
00:20:10,767 --> 00:20:12,400
Nothing, nothing's going on.

643
00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:13,200
Jonny?

644
00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:14,033
You dare.

645
00:20:15,433 --> 00:20:17,267
Jonny was pretending to have
a bad shoulder all night

646
00:20:17,267 --> 00:20:19,067
to get out of doing the loft.

647
00:20:19,067 --> 00:20:19,900
What?

648
00:20:20,767 --> 00:20:22,000
Martin, did you hear that?

649
00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:23,567
No.

650
00:20:23,567 --> 00:20:26,400
I can't believe you, Jonny,
you bloody little liar.

651
00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:28,200
All right then, the reason Adam

652
00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:30,633
didn't call Val's niece back
after he slept with her--

653
00:20:30,633 --> 00:20:31,467
Oh, god.

654
00:20:32,333 --> 00:20:33,167
Ow!

655
00:20:33,167 --> 00:20:34,467
What's that for?

656
00:20:34,467 --> 00:20:36,933
You're not to sleep
with mum's friends.

657
00:20:37,933 --> 00:20:39,500
Not Val.

658
00:20:39,500 --> 00:20:40,467
Val's niece.

659
00:20:40,467 --> 00:20:42,233
Oh, in that case, well done.

660
00:20:42,233 --> 00:20:43,833
No, one minute.

661
00:20:43,833 --> 00:20:45,700
You slept with Val's niece?

662
00:20:45,700 --> 00:20:47,300
Only a bit.

663
00:20:47,300 --> 00:20:48,500
A bit?

664
00:20:48,500 --> 00:20:49,767
Yeah, and he didn't
call her back

665
00:20:49,767 --> 00:20:51,700
because he thought she
smelt like you, Mum.

666
00:20:51,700 --> 00:20:54,400
You didn't call her back
because she smelt li, like me?

667
00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:56,033
Yes.

668
00:20:56,033 --> 00:20:58,233
What, what's wrong
with my smell?

669
00:20:58,233 --> 00:21:00,367
Nothing's wrong with your
smell, when it's on you.

670
00:21:00,367 --> 00:21:01,233
What was the problem?

671
00:21:01,233 --> 00:21:02,167
She smelt like Mum.

672
00:21:02,167 --> 00:21:03,967
Ooh, smelt like Mum.

673
00:21:03,967 --> 00:21:05,500
All right then,
now all our stuff's

674
00:21:05,500 --> 00:21:07,100
out in the open,
what about you two?

675
00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:09,100
Why don't you tell us about
what your stupid argument's

676
00:21:09,100 --> 00:21:10,400
been about the
whole bloody night?

677
00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:11,733
Yeah.

678
00:21:11,733 --> 00:21:12,867
It's personal.

679
00:21:12,867 --> 00:21:13,967
[Boys] It's sexual.

680
00:21:13,967 --> 00:21:15,200
How did you?

681
00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:17,233
All right, what have you
been telling the boys?

682
00:21:17,233 --> 00:21:18,800
I haven't been
telling them anything.

683
00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:20,333
Really?

684
00:21:20,333 --> 00:21:23,267
Okay, no, go on Martin,
tell them then, go on.

685
00:21:23,267 --> 00:21:24,667
Tell them what?

686
00:21:24,667 --> 00:21:27,700
All those things
you did, to her.

687
00:21:27,700 --> 00:21:29,633
But I didn't do anything.

688
00:21:29,633 --> 00:21:30,833
Really?

689
00:21:30,833 --> 00:21:33,167
I think you better tell us.

690
00:21:33,167 --> 00:21:35,700
Tell your sons who it was with.

691
00:21:38,700 --> 00:21:39,533
-Dad?
-Dad?

692
00:21:40,433 --> 00:21:41,267
All right.

693
00:21:45,067 --> 00:21:45,833
Lady Di.

694
00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:48,067
-Sorry?
-What?

695
00:21:48,067 --> 00:21:49,533
Lady Di.

696
00:21:49,533 --> 00:21:50,367
Lady Di?

697
00:21:50,367 --> 00:21:51,533
Yes, Lady Di.

698
00:21:51,533 --> 00:21:53,500
Lady Di, as in Lady Di?

699
00:21:53,500 --> 00:21:54,533
The Lady Di?

700
00:21:54,533 --> 00:21:55,367
Yes.

701
00:21:55,367 --> 00:21:56,500
Lady Diana?

702
00:21:56,500 --> 00:21:57,733
Lady Diana Spencer?

703
00:21:57,733 --> 00:22:00,067
Yes, Lady bleeding
Diana Spencer.

704
00:22:00,067 --> 00:22:00,800
Lady Di.

705
00:22:00,800 --> 00:22:02,067
You see.

706
00:22:02,067 --> 00:22:05,400
I dreamt I was in a bath
of milk with Lady Di.

707
00:22:06,567 --> 00:22:07,733
I'm sorry, what
did you just say?

708
00:22:07,733 --> 00:22:09,933
I dreamt I was
having a milk bath.

709
00:22:09,933 --> 00:22:11,067
A milk bath?

710
00:22:11,067 --> 00:22:11,833
Yes.

711
00:22:11,833 --> 00:22:12,867
Did he say dreamt?

712
00:22:12,867 --> 00:22:14,400
Yes, with Lady Di.

713
00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:15,633
It was a dream?

714
00:22:15,633 --> 00:22:18,900
All about your dad and
Lady Diana Spencer,

715
00:22:18,900 --> 00:22:23,300
naked, naked in a bath of milk.

716
00:22:24,133 --> 00:22:25,067
But in a dream.

717
00:22:25,067 --> 00:22:26,433
You see, it was nothing.

718
00:22:26,433 --> 00:22:28,800
It was not nothing, it
was you and Lady Di.

719
00:22:28,800 --> 00:22:31,933
Yeah, in my head, in
my fast asleep head.

720
00:22:31,933 --> 00:22:33,700
It's completely
different from real life.

721
00:22:33,700 --> 00:22:36,700
In your head, in the
bath, it's the same thing.

722
00:22:36,700 --> 00:22:37,933
It's really not the same thing.

723
00:22:37,933 --> 00:22:39,067
Sorry, but that's what
you've been arguing

724
00:22:39,067 --> 00:22:40,400
about the whole night?

725
00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:42,667
Dad's ridiculous, stupid dream?

726
00:22:42,667 --> 00:22:43,667
Incredible.

727
00:22:43,667 --> 00:22:44,767
Incredible.

728
00:22:52,900 --> 00:22:54,667
Actually it really
was incredible.

729
00:22:55,900 --> 00:22:58,433
* I change shapes just
to hide in this place *

730
00:22:58,433 --> 00:23:03,367
* But I'm still, I'm
still an animal *

731
00:23:03,367 --> 00:23:06,067
* Nobody knows it
but me when I slip *

732
00:23:06,067 --> 00:23:10,500
* Yeah I slip, I'm
still an animal *

733
00:23:10,500 --> 00:23:13,533
* I change shapes just
to hide in this place *

734
00:23:13,533 --> 00:23:18,533
* But I'm still, I'm
still an animal *

735
00:23:19,167 --> 00:23:21,067
* Animal

736
00:23:21,067 --> 00:23:23,500
[slow music]